Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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