Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
