You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
