he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
