Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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