You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
