mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
where are you?
Hypothermia
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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