I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
