..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
