so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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