So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
