My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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