Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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