Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
