ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This is the high leading the old right now
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
