all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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