pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
