I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
