A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
