how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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