"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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