is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
