You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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