dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
