before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
