The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
