I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
