3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
nutella sex= disaster
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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