Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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