So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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