I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize