Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
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ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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