That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
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I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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