She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
