there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
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Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
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There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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