whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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