we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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