I must be too annoying 4 u.
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
