uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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