The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
