She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
