I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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