Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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