I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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