Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
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Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
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Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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