Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
