So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
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he puts the penis in happiness.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
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Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got