Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
