member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
