i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
false alarm. still invincible.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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