Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
