"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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