i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Someone came in the potted fern
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
