Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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