hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
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I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
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Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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