it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
