so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
