It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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