physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
