so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
