I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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