Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
