Screwed.edu
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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