So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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